Hey! I’m Cyndi.
I started this blog to connect with other moms. To inspire, to laugh with, to support, and to simply acknowledge that we are not alone in this crazy thing called Motherhood.
- I’m a writer, a musician, a painter, and a lover of the outdoors.
- I didn’t have an avocado until I was 20.
- I am a former crochet-er and possibly a future crochet-er (but not a current one).
- My husband constantly tries to get me to do calligraphy for some unknown reason.
- My husband and I moved to CA in our early 20s so he could go to circus school.
- I'm the mother of 2 young boys, and we constantly make up songs about any and everything we do.
How did this blog come to be?
I suppose it started with a fussy baby and a wildly spirited toddler.
The idea for a blog came to me one morning as I was making a tub-sized cup of coffee (one-handed of course, because: baby). I had already waded through tantrums and potty accidents, spit-up baths, and rebellion. And it wasn't even 8 AM yet.
I felt like I was drowning. Before I had kids, I had adventures, I browsed bookstores at a leisurely pace, I brushed my hair. Now I just felt like the empty sleeve of skin that a snake slithers out of — paper-thin and honestly, kinda gross.
The first year of our 2nd son’s life was the hardest I’d ever experienced. It was *just* starting to feel easier with our first son and — BAM! — we had the 2nd, and the challenges seemed to multiply exponentially. I was emotionally drained and energetically exhausted.
There was a part of me that was suffering. The “Me” part of me. And when I talked to other moms out there, I realized I wasn't alone. And I wanted to write about it.
You see, there was something about motherhood that wasn’t what I expected.
A clash of feelings. Two sides of me contradicting each other. A riot. It was LOUD in my head. It was LOUD in my house.
It wasn’t pretty; it wasn’t glossy; it wasn’t glowing. I couldn’t get all the boxes checked or find any sense of balance.
A friend had told me that to make it through that first year of having the second child, you had to “embrace the chaos.”
I love my boys with every breath of my being, every ounce of my soul. I always wanted to be a mom, and I always felt like it would come naturally. And it did in some ways. But the internal struggle of who I was before and what I had to give up of myself was shocking.
You don't hear about this on social media or in those "becoming a new mom" books. People tend to talk about the joy. The love. The blessing. "Treasure these moments," you hear from strangers in the grocery store line.
There IS a lot of joy. But there are other emotions as well. So so so many. And it's okay to feel them. Without trying to fix it or perfect it. It’s ugly and messy and heartbreaking sometimes. It’s unexpectedly sweet and cute and inspiring at other times.
As I continued to wade through motherhood, the idea of creating a blog wouldn't leave me alone. I made excuses out of fear, and I pushed it aside for months. But the idea just stayed curled up right there beside me. Like a mom. Or a nice cat.
So now I want to turn up the volume. I want to give substance. I want to have conversations. I want to offer something up to the universe. I want to stay up too late doing something worthwhile.
This is Loud Motherhood.
This blog is for you if:
- You are looking for a sense of peace in motherhood.
- You want to feel understood and not alone in the experience.
- You struggle with your identity or your sense of purpose after having kids.
- You love being a mom, but it isn't the only thing that defines you.
- You have a passion and want to follow it (perhaps start your own business!)
- You want some tools for being productive while you work from home (and try to balance motherhood along with it).
- You want to feel more grounded in your life (and let's go ahead and say: SANE.)
- You want to be inspired and perhaps laugh a little at this thing called motherhood.